I hear a knock at my door. It had been a while since I had last seen her. She came by unexpected. I let her into my home. Even with so long an absence there was still a familiarity. I ask her the reason for her visit but she says nothing. She pulls me to come over and lie with her as we used to. It had been so long, years. We talk for a while, catching up on times, though again I don’t recall hearing any words exchanged. She looks up to me and gives a reassuring smile, of what exactly im not sure of, but reassuring nonetheless. She has to leave again, now to go to work. Still smiling at me as she goes. I walk her outside and say goodbye. I don’t think ill see her again. I look up to the sky.
I decide to fly away.
The air is cold and gradually becomes thick with clouds and snowfall. With my visibility becoming shorter and shorter, I decide to land. The ground is covered in snow and ice, though I am able to walk with ease, thick flakes like feathers falling around. In the distance I see a camp of some sort and decide to walk towards it. I arrive in camp to see it abandoned, fires still lit, huts well kept and clean, though no one is to be found. I glance around once more hoping to catch sight of at least one of the residents but no luck. I move along and continue on foot across the frozen plain.
Im not certain as to how long I was being followed, but I am now aware of a pack of wolves closing in from the distance. Coming from the direction of the camp I left, the pace of the animals quickens. I turn and stand motionless, waiting. One of the wolves breaks away from the rest as they start to circle around me. I notice now there are some outcroppings and trees scattered around as the pack takes place on top of the rocks. Must be close to the mountains somewhere. The wolf that had split moments earlier comes before me, staring, pacing back and forth. It stops momentarily, bares its teeth, then leaps at me. There is a struggle for a while as it bites at me, fangs barely missing my face and neck. I push back trying to get some space to maneuver but the wolf is relentless in its attack. I manage to get it off of me for a few moments and I reach down to grab hold of a large bone handle knife I was carrying. It turns and lunges again at my throat, mouth wide open, as I bring my other arm up in front of me, sacrificing it to its bite. I pull the wolf closer to me, bite still strong and tearing at the meaty parts of my arm. Distracted by its rage and bloody arm in mouth, my opponent fails to see as I bring up the 10 inch blade with my other arm and drive it deep into its skull behind its ear. Time seems to stop for an instant, wolfs teeth still buried in my arm, blade in my hand still firm within its head.
We lie there on the cold snow for a bit, exhausted. It rolls away from me, soundless, and stumbles to its feet before collapsing. I start to feel sorry for the fallen wolf but miraculously it does not die, the wound not mortal. It looks up to me and begins to communicate somehow. It concedes defeat and it occurs to me now it was the leader of the pack. It seems to convey to me that this is true and that I now bear this responsibility. I look into its eyes and through some mental gesture or perhaps body language, I refuse the request. I walk over and reach down to retrieve the knife, but it pulls away and tells me to leave it as a reminder to itself and the rest. I turn to leave and one of the others follow. If I am not to be leader then this wolf is to travel with me wherever I go, as what im guessing to be out of respect. I oblige and continue back to the empty camp with my new companion. Standing again in the center of the place, I still find it curious that the people have left. I look back to the plains and still see the remains of the pack far off into the distance, then down to the wolf that followed. I give it a nod as to tell it goodbye and it stares back as if to say the same.
I decide to fly away.
I eventually come to the end of the snowfields and now above a vast unknown sea. The air is clear and I can see for miles into the horizon. Every direction, nothing but calm open water. I spot something far off. I fly closer to what appears to be a naval gunship. On the way over it now occurs to me that while flying is normally out of the realm of possibility for me, it seems so natural presently. I leave the thoughts for some other time and continue down to the ship. I land on deck unnoticed and strangely, again like the camp in the snow, the ship is completely abandoned. There is no crew or passengers seen anywhere. No trace even other than the fact that the ship is fully operational and cruising along the waters at a modest pace. Nothing but what I am surprised to find is a small child sitting alone.
I move closer and he looks at me rather stoic. I start to sense something of what is going on here. Simply by being in close proximity to the child, or perhaps even the ship, I seem to absorb the story of what happened. There has been a war or conflict of some sort. The people aboard the ship were exiles, much like myself. The difference being that I am an exile “from” my reality, or what I know reality to be, currently traveling within another realm, or realms. The difference being that this unfortunate place “is” their reality. They are exiles from a land that is no longer safe, which is why they had taken to the sea.
I take the child in arm and fly off to return to land. Upon arrival we glide over a large forest in search of survivors. I land in the middle of the forest and set the child at my side. The forest looks to be quite healthy though it is completely silent, other than the sound of my own breath and the child shifting around next to me. There isn’t even the sound of any animals or insects. All gone. Even this forest has been abandoned, just as the camp, just as the ship. I look over to see a large hole not too far off. Upon inspection I see it to be extremely deep, so deep that the bottom can’t be seen. This hole is important somehow. I don’t know how but I know it to be the source of all the current emptiness and abandonment. The emptiness seems to have been the natural way of things before, things are so calm and peaceful now. It could be the natural way of this place, though I wouldn’t know for sure as this is not my world. I stand for a moment and I look over to the hole again. I start to fill it in. It takes some time but all that remains of the hole now is a mound of compact earth. I take a deep breath and glance back to the child as I exhale.
I decide to fly away.
I give a slight wave and take flight, leaving the child and filled in hole. I appear, after an immeasurable amount of time, suddenly in the city. This is not “any” city or even “a” city. It is “The City”, in the sense that its the only one in this world, or the only one of importance in all the worlds. Cars, noise, dirt, and finally some people, the city. No longer in the air I wander the streets for a while. My wolf companion has returned. I don’t bother to ask or even wonder where its been as I know thats a wolfs business and not my concern.
Traveling through the city, the dense urban jungle, the wolf pads along close behind, taking in the sights as does myself. Something strange begins to happen. The air in front of me flickers for a moment and I realize I am no longer in the same place. I have teleported somewhere else in the city, wolf still with me. It happens a few more times almost immediately before pausing for a moment. This time I notice chaos around me. Overturned cars, broken storefront glass, things stewn about, in small radius around me, almost as if knocked around by some force radiating from where I currently stand. There are also a number of body parts laying about, there is no blood or gore. I look over and notice someone standing, dazed. They are missing an arm though it doesn’t seem to be causing any pain. They look like an amputee as if the wound had long since healed over. I turn and see that all around me, other people have lost limbs in a similar fashion, milling around confused. A few of them not only missing arms and legs, but seemingly half phased into walls and cars, as if to be a part of it.
I should be terrified at what I see around me but it too seems to be the way things are in this world. Whatever is happening to me, this strange teleportation, I feel no remorse for those caught in its wake. All the people, their missing limbs, their disoriented state of minds, remind me of dolls, or puppets, interchangeable parts, only coming to life when something tugs at their strings. I have no remorse for puppets. Maybe the city was abandoned as well, leaving only the wandering dolls as a clever facade. I turn again to the wolf and motion it to follow me on through the city. I seem to have some control over the teleportation now. I do this for a short time until I come to rest on another nameless street, more chaos behind me. I now stand in front of a door with stairs leading to an up to another floor of the building. I enter with my companion into a womans apartment. The place looks quite lived in, lots of character, lots of random things from the her life gathered around, though its not messy. The woman is a real person, a spirit guide, though a modern one. She is pleased to see the wolf and I and makes us comfortable in her home. She looks to me and starts to explain something to me. Again, no words can be heard, no sound at all, yet she is able to communicate to me. As she gets to the important part that she had to tell me, the air begins to flicker again. Before she can finish, before I can hear enough of it to make sense of what she said, there is a flash. I wake to my reality. No longer an exile.
I wish I could fly away.
09.03.2009